Hipstamatic, the app suite everybody loves except me and a couple of other people who wisely prefer to remain anonymous, released a new filter pack today, apparently. Included in it is the Dali Goodpak for Hipstamatic. I’ve already received two submissions using the app. I passed on both.

(Please: no offense to the people who sent the pictures in. I know your other work, which I post often. I have been planning a new Hipsta screed for a while.)

57 Channels and Nothing On by Reservoir Sally

First off, I hardly EVER post mirror image pictures here on the site. Most of the time, I write to the artist and ask him/her for the original, un-mirrored picture, which tells the actual story.

What does a mirrored image tell us? That it is a mirrored image. And that’s it. There is never anything else in the picture. I’ve seen hundreds. I know of one, and only one, artist who can create mirror images and get away with it, but he does so much more one barely notices.

Double Bacon Please by Reservoir Sally

They’ve programmed Hipstamatic Dali Goodpak to do some left-right variation in color/contrast, but, like every other Hipstamatic imprint, it is entirely predictable and stale coming out of the box. The fact that the Hipstamatic people made a plug-in that automatically makes a mirror image implies to me a kind of aesthetic bankruptcy. But I am certain they will make bank with it.

“Knox,” you say, “why do you have such a problem with Hipstamatic? Everybody loves it and the pictures are cool!”

In short, Hipstamatic does not allow people to app pictures in the same way that, say, EffectTouch, or PhotoFX, or FilterStorm, or even Lo-Mob, do. Hipstamatic generates such an over-powering imprint on most (note I say most) images that the artist’s personality is all but lost: all that is left is “this is Hipstamatic speaking.” Not the artist who took the picture.

I have written to many artists in whom I detected a good eye for composition, but whom were lost in the Hipsta matrix, to ditch the app and explore other apps. Almost without exception, I have received thank you notes, and have subsequently witnessed amazing growth with said artists. Hipstamatic seems to me to be sort of iphonographic karaoke, kind of a hipster affectation, not a true tool for individual expression, but rather an app used for tribal identification.

In general, Hipstamatic is a limited set of tools lazy people use to create the iphonographic equivalent of trip-hop for retards.

Note my admonition in the right column of this site: “Aim well, shoot fast, and app that bitch until it sings.

Hipstamatic doesn’t sing: hipstamatic dribbles.

If you must use Hipstamatic, please remove the frame and re-app the bitch until it at least squeals!

For more rants about Hipstamatic and such, click here.

And another: No I will not post your Hipstamatic shot of a putrefying cat carcass.

But here it is, the picture that finally drove me over the edge some months ago regarding Hipsta:

Such a fine line between stupid and clever.

Will we still publish Hipstamatic shots here on Pixels? Of course! When the apping matches the image appropriately without overpowering it as the app usually does.

Next week, or the week after, maybe I will make more friends by sharing my thoughts on posting one’s really good pictures alongside really crappy ones from other people on multiple sites.